As the Campaign grows, we'll be seeding the various online communities that BMB and its allies frequent with stimulating questions about Black life. Every month our editors will sample the most compelling, witty, and astute responses that our questions generate and post them here. You are invited to register and contribute your own comments, or join us in places like Facebook: our debut satellite.
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THE QUESTION:
A new trend among many middle-class Black women is to choose to have a baby out of wedlock (sperm donation, adoption, etc.) & raise child alone. We know waiting for a compatible, eligible Black man is a "statistical nightmare" but how much progress have we made when we still raise children in households that don't have models of a whole, loving relationship/partnership/marriage? What's the answer?
THE RESPONSES:
Can't change the effect until you address the cause.
-
Makia Kambon
They do need us. Women who have a child via sperm donation and whatnot are severely misguided. It sickens me that this is considered acceptable behavior. I do not want a generation of young men raised by a single mother due to the father not fulfilling his duties as a man, but it's even worse when a woman outright chooses to put herself and her child in that position. Is there anything more selfish than having a kid via sperm donor just to satisfy your superficial need to have a baby? Wackness. These same women will have their child up in day care and kicking it with babysitters for the majority of the child's crucial development years while they climb the corporate ladder on some old I can do bad by myself-ish. Family planning fail! Too many people try to have kids for selfish reasons. - Cinque Malcolm Powell
How about this: My children's father passed away when they were very young. I asked all the brothers I knew to spend time with them, especially my son, on a regular basis. No takers. Sad but true. What's a sister to do? - Ankhasanamen Sow
Hmm, strange. In the past and even now, the young women today are facing young men running away if the young lady get pregnant... so why a sperm bank? I think men run out of fear... of not being prepared or knew they just was playing... just doing grown up things...w/o a grown up commitment. Hope we can find the solution. - Nsoroma James
If women that choose to have babies via sperm donor are selfishly fulfilling maternal desires...aren't men that use fear as an excuse to turn their back on responsibility just as selfish? Are the men who see children in need of role models & a man to show that they care yet say its not their seed so not their responsibility just as selfish. If we all considered that EVERY time we act on sexual attraction not only is infection possible so is pregnancy. Is the chick in the mini or the guy w/ the Tim's the person you want your child to emulate? Are they going to be there for your child? Bottom line, once the result is pregnancy whether he was a one-night stand, she was just the jump off, or you were high school sweethearts. U BOTH need to put the child 1st! Could mean not being together or it could mean setting the petty stuff aside & making it work. Might mean 1 of you moving forward with plans to go away to school while the other remains local for community college & caring for the baby. Bottom line it means growing up and sacrificing for the kids good! - Nakiya Cohen
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